Doors
by mccabebabe
Summary: Reid reflects upon the events of the day. Episode coda for "A Beautiful Disaster" and as such will spoil the events of the episode for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. You've been warned.


(©mccabebabe )

CM. Reid. G

Reflecting on Morgan leaving and other changes.

 _"_ _When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -Alexander Graham Bell_

He took a long sip of the drink in his hand, and stared at his apartment door. Closed. Keeping everything safely locked up inside. Just like he did himself so often when he was hurting. Derek Morgan was always the one who could kick down that door and make him see the whole picture. He'd done it not so long ago when Gideon was killed. Spencer Reid's walls of self-defense immediately rose up, before Derek had brought him back, citing the team's need for Reid's help in solving Gideon's murder. Morgan had been right, of course. Reid sighed. He finished the amber liquid and debated refilling the glass.

 _"_ _When someone you love says goodbye you can stare long and hard at the door they closed and forget to see all the doors God has open in front of you." -Shannon L. Alder_

The last glimpse he'd caught of his best friend today, through the glass of the conference room as the elevator door shut with Morgan standing behind the closing door. He chewed on his lip, recalling the exchange of nods between them. It wasn't really goodbye. More like see you soon. Just not at work anymore. Morgan was opening a new door on his life, Reid mused. Not so much closing the door on profiling, more opening the door to being a husband and father, he deliberated. Spencer's lips curled into a smile at that thought. Morgan, who'd always been the playboy, settled down with a family. Reid stood up, walked over to the counter where he'd left the bottle and popped the top off to refill his glass.

 _"_ _There is always a new beginning. Doors are unlimited, always open, if one closes and that moment the other opens." -Vandana Agarwal_

A lot about doors today, he reflected. Hiding behind one as he'd watched Morgan say goodbye to JJ. It was almost more than he could bear, knowing that Morgan would search him out. Hiding from Morgan was futile. And sure enough, Derek had calmly come through that office door, ready to set things right in Spencer's world again; to reassure him as he had done many times before.

"I know you hate goodbyes, kid. And change. It isn't always a bad thing." Spencer remembered replying, "I just can't imagine this room without you;" before Derek reassured him "Don't think about it. Just know I'm always gonna be by your side. I'm just a phone call away." A tear rolled down his cheek as he recalled their parting words and the hug they'd shared; and the tears amid smiles as Morgan showed off Hank Spencer Morgan. Reid's face broke into a wide smile as he revisited looking at the adorable baby's first photos.

 _"_ _The doors will be opened to those who are bold enough to knock." -Tony Gaskins_

He sat back down on the couch and reopened the book in which he'd been engrossed. Taking another sip of his drink, he ran his fingers down a page and then set the book aside.

The doors had closed and opened many times at the BAU he noted. Gideon, Greenaway, Prentiss, Blake and Callahan had all opened new doors to their lives. There was life after work. And outside work. Although he hadn't heard from Elle, Kate was happily involved with a new baby; and he knew both Emily and Alex had found new opportunities after walking through the same elevator door Morgan had earlier today.

Spencer thought about all the doors he'd encountered over the last eleven years. He shuddered, remembered the imposing figure of Charles Hankel bursting through the cabin door and beating him. He recalled slamming shut and locking the door to the anthrax-infested house of Dr. Nichols in an effort to keep Morgan safe. A bittersweet look crossed his face as he remembered the love and caring shown to him by JJ and Penelope as they'd repeatedly checked on him in the aftermath of Maeve's murder; how they'd braved the closed door of his apartment fortress to try and bring him out of his grief.

 _"_ _We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."-Walt Disney_

He took then released a deep breath. Little brother, Morgan had called him. That comment touched him to his very core. They'd always been close, but hearing Morgan actually say it, and actually tell him he loved him brought a lump to Reid's throat. Derek knew him so well. He was right; Spencer didn't like change. But he'd gone through so many changes, personally and professionally, this latest one was really just another door. He thought about Morgan's reasons and found himself just a little envious. Love. And family. Two things Reid really wanted for himself. He loved the members of the BAU—past and present—like family. And he knew he wanted more. It was time to find that door.

 _"_ _Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."-John Barrymore_


End file.
